Food Fight at Barney's

Barney’s Co-op coming to Brooklyn!

As if I didn’t have enough of a beef with the high and mighty Park Slope Food Co-Op, then I read this in the Brooklyn Paper…

“The venerable Park Slope Food Coop has fired a shot against the fancy-schmancy Barneys Co-op, saying that the department store slated to open later this year on Atlantic Avenue has illegally coopted the word “co-op” — and one lawyer says the supermarket may actually have a case!”

For those of you Fabulous readers who are not familiar with the Park Slope Food Co-Op here’s a little explanation… It’s a “co-op.” You have to work at the grocery store for free, and wear hideous yellow vests declaring your devotion to the neighborhood. For this service, you are granted forty percent off all your favorite organic brands, longs lines with hippie dippies, and neighborhood “approval.” This is a cult, not an organization. In fact, after shopping (if you can call it that) you have to be escorted home by a tagged member of the ‘church’ forced to chat up the latest in green farming. These are the people that are organizing against my mission to fabulize Park Slope.

Honestly, the Food Co-Op truly is my arch enemy. Are they trying to ruin my life? Do they think that their patrouille-scented, unshaven armpits can drive the glamorous Barney out of Brooklyn? Are they really that stuck on themselves that there is no room left in the neighborhood for the rest of us?

I have been so thrilled at the prospect of having Barney’s Co-op moving to their new location in Cobble Hill here in Brooklyn. FINALLY, somewhere to go and gab about the latest Elizabeth and James Collection, or the newest trends in denim washes. I was actually thinking about just applying for a part time gig just to be surrounded by some fabulousness. They would have to pay me in clothes of course.

Please pledge you’re support for Barney’s Co-Op and everything fabulous. Fabulous Mommies Unite!

Bringing Preppy Back

Thank you Mrs. Lillian for reminding me of how much I LOVE to be pretty in prep. One of my fav blogs Mrs. Lillian told a story of the 'Mrs' yachting trip abroad...all aboard!

She also introduced me to Harvey Faircloth. Immediately, I was taken to Nantucket via ferry to a life that I adore. Somewhere where crisp white buttons downs and silk scarves are a religion. Where one eats lobster rolls while sipping Clamoto juice and Vodka on the grey docks of the marina.

These designs are fifties inspired preppy, with a large collar or wide leg pant to add a touch of glam. Definitely not a look for the streets of Brooklyn where Prepster has been replaced by the Hipster. But I will not let that stop me. I will make it a summer project to bring Preppy to Brooklyn. I will show the park slope sloppies how they can turn that smile upside down. How they can turn that patchwork skirt into a gingham mini, and that stretched out tee-shirt into a bell sleeved lover. I will put white adirondack chairs on my front stoop and sell ribbon belts with whales, madras headbands, and jack roger sandals. Like a kid with a lemonade stand I will sell sunshine to those dreary moms. I will channel my inner Buffy and tie that cotton knit over my shoulders and strut my espadrille wedge stuff down Prospect Park West. Better yet, I'll skip.

Watch out Brooklyn, I may be the only one in the head scarf and mini skirt at the coffee shop but I'll be the one with the best tan.

harveyfaircloth.com/

Hipster Inspired

I was pleasantly surprised today at my adventures in my neighboring Carroll Gardens. I had a sleeping toddler in the stroller which was the perfect opportunity to shop! I came across Bird, and found out that some of these Brooklyn hipsters actually do have some glam left in them! I actually drooled over a Isabel Marant coat. I couldn't believe that I had spotted something so spectacular so close to my park slope hood! I literally I felt that this jacket, with it's rhinestone details and multicolored trim, would some how 'complete me.' As my husband would point out, I needed plan to get that coat. It's 1600 price tag was intimidating, but I will construct some sort of excel spreadsheet to figure out a way to bring that baby home.
Anyway, I settled on a less fabulous and more hippie choice, a Cecilia Prado peasant top. I love finding something different and colorful! Perfect summer concert outfit with this Steven Allen skirt and Swedish Hasbeen clogs.
Okay, Okay I know. I should be bashing my hippie hipster neighbors for their lack of fabulousness...and don't worry, I will next week.
Meanwhile you can check out Bird online and in Boogie Down Brown. www.shopbird.com

Fabulous inside and out

I want to personally thank La Perla for saving me $10,000, some scar tissue, and my marriage.

Since having my butterball son, I have lost my ability to hold up those adorable strapless dresses that I wore pre-baby. I nursed for nine months and he literally sucked the life right out of those perky little boobies.

Since I stopped breast feeding I had given up. I convinced my self that those little bralettes I was buying from American Apparel were sexy in a pre-teen hipster kinda way. I was buying the XS while my twenty-one year old little sister was looking for the 36Ds. Pathetic.

After convincing my husband that I would need a boob job after we were done procreating, I decided that I needed to try one more option before committing to a job in the porn industry. Let it be noted that my husband did not flinch when I said boob job, he never said, “oh no honey you’re perfect.” He sat there with his mouth open, I had to catch the drool with a burp cloth.

Before booking my appointment with Dr. 90210. I ventured into the city and headed to Bergdorf Goodman’s. I figured that if anyone could save me from the knife it would be Mr. Goodman. Shit, he could save me from jumping off the ledge with a fab Bottega Ventea gown. I was instantly put at ease when I walked onto the 6th floor and was glamorized by the long Missoni tunics and lounges wear.

But, I had to keep my focus, and after befriending and bearing my nakedness in front of the matronly sales woman I found my boobies! They appeared in the B cup of a lovely nude molded La Perla Bra. I put my shirt on and BAM! I was back, and so was my Anna Sui strapless mini.

Lesson learned ladies; the right bra is really worth the hefty price tag. Like the perfect handbag that you wear everyday, it can pull your look together…and your cleavage.

Hot Tip

My dear friend Heather turned me on to an incredible store in China Town called Store No. 6. They sell fabulous vintage pieces, and very unique vintage inspired lines. The store is a tiny little gem, conveniently located next to Built by Wendy. Their big hit this year is their private label clogs. I have died and gone back Woodstock. I know that I have a tendency to give my hippie Slope neighbors shit, but there is a distinct line between Birkenstocks that you actually wore at the last Phish concert and clogs that are inspired by the gypsy chic trends. I can't wait to go back to No. 6 and check out what they have in stock next!

www.no6store.com

Happy Easter

These Elizabeth and James wedges are perfect for hopping around town! Love the lace up, and the snake trim is a nice touch. My theory, they work because they are creamy neutral. They have a bad girl style with a Pollyanna finish. Thank you Mr. Easter Bunny.

Searching

I would love a boho clutch to take me through the summer. The new Bazaar Magazine informed me that it would be essential; it would fulfill all my wildest desires and make me the envy of all my friends. So I set out on an online search, denying my two year old attention and turning to iCarly for babysitting duties. I even was able to enlist the help of my dear friend and fashion consultant, to scour the web for this must have.

I found the Alexander mcqueen leather glove clutch, surprised that there was something out there that was actually too damn cool for even Fabulous. I was pleased to find an assortment of moderately priced bags that would be perfect with my floral tops and silky shorts. These bags can take me from day to night, but not necessarily enough room for a diaper. Ahh, whatever, changing them is over rated any how.