Saturday, April 17, 2010

Fabulous inside and out

I want to personally thank La Perla for saving me $10,000, some scar tissue, and my marriage.

Since having my butterball son, I have lost my ability to hold up those adorable strapless dresses that I wore pre-baby. I nursed for nine months and he literally sucked the life right out of those perky little boobies.

Since I stopped breast feeding I had given up. I convinced my self that those little bralettes I was buying from American Apparel were sexy in a pre-teen hipster kinda way. I was buying the XS while my twenty-one year old little sister was looking for the 36Ds. Pathetic.

After convincing my husband that I would need a boob job after we were done procreating, I decided that I needed to try one more option before committing to a job in the porn industry. Let it be noted that my husband did not flinch when I said boob job, he never said, “oh no honey you’re perfect.” He sat there with his mouth open, I had to catch the drool with a burp cloth.

Before booking my appointment with Dr. 90210. I ventured into the city and headed to Bergdorf Goodman’s. I figured that if anyone could save me from the knife it would be Mr. Goodman. Shit, he could save me from jumping off the ledge with a fab Bottega Ventea gown. I was instantly put at ease when I walked onto the 6th floor and was glamorized by the long Missoni tunics and lounges wear.

But, I had to keep my focus, and after befriending and bearing my nakedness in front of the matronly sales woman I found my boobies! They appeared in the B cup of a lovely nude molded La Perla Bra. I put my shirt on and BAM! I was back, and so was my Anna Sui strapless mini.

Lesson learned ladies; the right bra is really worth the hefty price tag. Like the perfect handbag that you wear everyday, it can pull your look together…and your cleavage.

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