Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I didn't want to have to do this...

Well, I thought this would be just a fun way to spend some extra time. I was wrong. I had no idea that the blog world was such a cruel place to be. Gosh, I've never been on a 'blog' except to see my friends kids and check out the latest Park Slope Parents classifieds. I did not intend for this to be a big deal. I had no idea what I was getting in to. I feel like I have to clear some things up, because a lot of mean things are being said about me.

As some of you have pointed out, I am not a writer. I graduated with a Bachelor's in Psychology. After that I went to Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising (FIDM). I didn't feel that I was fulfilled and proceeded to get my Masters in Social Work (MSW) at The University of Southern California (USC). I was lucky to meet some really wonderful friends while I was there. And yes, I miss them. After working for a non-profit organization for children in threat of being taken from their home for a couple years, I decided to go into fashion again. I worked retail for a few years at two women's boutiques. I loved both of my careers and miss them terribly.

I am now a stay-at-home mom, recently transplanted from The West Coast to be closer to family and for my husband's job. I love my son more than anything in the world and would gladly be his pillow for the next ten years. I take him to music class, gym class, and play dates. I am not just a shopaholic that sits in her closet all day. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter and a friend. Those classifications are the most important things to me.

This however, is not that important. I had no idea that people would reach out just to brutalize someone they don't even know. That people actually spend their time criticizing others publicly. My original post was a stream-of-thought that I wrote for ParkSlopeParents.com. I was the one who was feeling like I didn't fit in, not the other way around. I am in no place to pass judgment on others. I am a mom who understands what it's like to not sleep all night and feel like all you want to do is wash the peanut butter out of your hair. I know how it feels to not be able to do anything for yourself. That's why I started this blog, I thought that it would be something fun that I could do for me. Not to fight, or start a 'blog war' (with someone named sassy?).

Yes, I love clothes, and bags and other frivolous things. Seems like that's all you blogger critics are focused on. Please, if you don't like what I have to say move on. I don't expect everyone to like the things that I talk about. If you don't, engage me in an open and mature discussion. The thing is, I just moved here, I wasn't trying to ruffle feathers. I'm just trying to find my place. I hope you are happy in yours.


  1. don't let haters cause you to stop blogging when you've just gotten started. you can't please everyone, you know? just keep doing what you do because, after all, that's why you started the blog: to vent, to have your voice heard, and to have fun.

  2. I like this blog thus far. If you like what you're doing, just focus on the positive and keep going. No matter what topic, once you post your thoughts online, people will come out of the woodwork to rip you up. And really, what are they doing that's so much better? How exciting are their lives that they have time to send hate mail to a blogspot writer?

  3. If your other post would have been like this, people would not have found you so intolerable. The "fabulous" post was entirely vapid, and that's how you came across...entirely vapid. I'm glad to know you have a brain and other facets to your personality. I'd encourage you to showcase them more often. The woman that wrote this entry is likable, not so much with the other entry. Intelligence and being well rounded is way more fabulous than Prada boots could ever hope to be.

  4. I had to comment. First things first, I think you are darling. I have to be honest - your blog is your place to vent, say, dream, speak, type whatever it is you want. I have never heard of Park Slope - it sounds like an awful place filled with bitter people that wish they were in Manhattan - and since they aren't -- they are going to act like they are too cool for school, or that they are better than everyone else. People need to remember that life is about being good, honest, and kind to others, who cares how you spell Louboutin, or if you wear fur or felt. Whatever makes you feel good is what you should be wearing. Ya know - its funny - in junior high and high school I was not such a pretty girl - and now things have changed (I'm not saying I'm gorgeous - but I've improved a bit) and those people that were mean to me -- want to say hi when I am back in my home town, inside I laugh at them now. These are the type of people that pushed me down. These people are in Park Slope probably - making others feel crappy about themselves so they can lift them selves up. Keep your head up! Those people in Park Slope just need some sunshine. Show them that. Best of luck!

  5. Don't worry about the negatroids, Courtney. So when is the FAPS Shopping guide coming out? Is there any Fabulous shopping in the Slope?

  6. Who cares? Your only claim to fame is that you were gleeful about wearing fur and rubbing it in the faces of people who find it distasteful and cruel. Congratulations.

  7. I lived in Park Slope when we moved to NYC and while I liked it (really really miss the restaurants, go to Sotto Voce if its still there), I thought we should have stayed in Manhattan since we were single. Its an interesting mix of people - old timers, artsy crowd, and an influx of yuppies who move there with their families. Its more of a West Village-esque. I didnt like how dirty it was, its like people have no respect for the area they live in. Garbage on 5th was always overflowing, rats.. brrr, homeless (it might be different now). I did like the restaurants and flower markets on the 7th.
    It is ot terribly glamourous, no, but most of US isnt. I moved here over 10 yrs ago from Estonia and all I say is that we dress up wayyy more on daily basis. And we wear fur cause its practical. And I like it. Sue me.
    We live in Fairfield County in CT now and most mommies were yoga wear. This is an incredibly wealthy area and still... yoga wear 24/7. I am always overdressed when I go out for dinner. Literally sat at a very expensive restaurant with a guy next to me wearing shorts and a fleece. So really, Park Slope was more dressy... Way more... :)

  8. as a fellow mom who gets her wardrobe commented on as well, don't let them bring you down. Be fabulous and fun, life is too short to spend it in boring clothes!!!

  9. Wow! I had no idea that you were STILL getting negative messages from people. Why are they reading your blog if they are so against your thoughts and opinions? Really, all the negative nellie's need to get a life or possibly create their own black smog blog!

    I try my best not to judge a book by its cover. Maybe others ("Sassy") should do the same. Being a stay-at-home Mom is quite possibly the hardest, most draining (emotionally, physically and mentally) job out there, that you don't even get paid to do! If you have the means to shop for the items and brands you love, than that's great! The ones that are coming down on you are most likely not able to afford these items. I know I can't afford them, but I dream about one day being able to. I would never insult someone who can afford a wonderful lifestyle.

    If some of the negative people who are commenting on you, your blog and your opinions, could walk a day in your shoes (Prada, Louboutins, Nanette Lapore, whatever) than they would see it's not all about image. It is about feeling good about yourself. You can still be a Mom, wife and friend in any clothes and shoes. You just happen to be fabulously fashionable and should make no apologies about it!

  10. Judgement was passed on either side.
    I'm actually quite surprised by this post.
    Social work is a very demanding and heartwrenching career and quite the opposite end of the spectrum to retail fashion.
    I was impressed by your claim to education and a little disappointed you couldnt let some of that shine.
    If I had even half of those badges of honor I would wear them proudly.
    This is the only representation of who you are that the anonymity of the internet would portray and the PR for the first 3 posts wasnt so well rounded.
    Fur is a very sensitive issue, and peoples homes, community, and perhaps the only fashion they can afford is a touchy subject.
    While you may be fabulous, and I dont understand fashion outside the clearance section :P so I'll trust your expertise, and for my part I do apologize for any shortcoming judgement i too have passed.
    I hope you have a fabulous day :)

  11. Initially, when I read your blog—I was sooo excited. Then I read the mean remarks.

    I have been so lucky to know YOU Courtney. I saw you in action---helping severely emotionally disturbed kids get through life. You worked with the most hurt, impoverished children in Los Angeles County. I know you. I am lucky to know YOU. I immediately wanted to come to your defense. I stood by you as we intervened to crisis’ where kids were at the point of hurting themselves (yes, seriously—on the verge of suicide). I fell in love with your spirit—your beautiful giving heart. You’re an exceptional person that anyone would be so lucky to have in their lives—and you’ve changed lives.

    I didn’t want to write anything, because I thought—okay, we’re all entitled to our opinions, good/bad press is press…but I really got bothered by what others were saying. One of the first life lessons I learned was, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. But you’re the exception. You’re fabulous INSIDE and OUT.

    Booyah, haters.

  12. i like your blog!! it's very honest and cute! i am not into baby/mom blogs and i like that you write about dealing with being a mom and someone who needs to be out and about.

  13. Courtney,

    First, congrats on this new post and your honesty. Live your life and don't try and please everyone. You're terrific person, with a good heart and -- I might add -- a great sense of humor! For all its diversity, perhaps what Park Slope really needs are more people like you -- kind individuals who know who they are...and just want to be accepted for that.

  14. I don't know you but if my dear friend, Adi, loves you...


    My goodness, you haven't even had a chance to wear closed-toe suede pumps in winter!?!?! That's just wrong!

  15. i love the commenters who think you should have mentioned that you have a background in social work. as if, only then, is it okay to love clothes and frivolous things? i fully support people who have multi-faceted personalities, and i hope you keep blogging!

  16. You want to know why millions of people tuned into Sex in the City? FABULOUS clothes and FABULOUS woman...sounds to me like you have fabulous clothes and you are a fabulous woman! Don't let this petty high school crap, for a lack of a better word, get you down. Keep it up Courtney! I think your blog is fabulous!

  17. Welcome to Brooklyn, and welcome to blogging! I'm your neighbor (Carroll Gardens) and can relate to feeling way more overdressed than the other moms. I also feel fashionably more comfortable in Manhattan, but love it here in Brooklyn. Keep on!

  18. Hi Courtney, I also live in PS and have some mixed feelings about it-love the shops, restaurants, etc. but i could live without the unwarranted snooty-ness. That being said, I really enjoy your blog, and if i ever see a someone in a fur coat being sneered at, I will be sure to say hi ;)

  19. One more thing- I am also a CA transplant. I totally get it.

  20. Hey, I remember the day you wore a silver space/catsuit to middleschool, age 13! This couldnt be more you!!!Yyour self expression- celebrating beauty and fabulousness-very important!! Why is it considered noble to create a beautiful painting/sculpture, yet celebrating the beauty and art of fashion is frivolous? Lets ponder this.
    ps: someone actually criticized your writing? this is a blog-by nature patchy, with incomplete sentences and incorrect punct.Thats the style of a blog.

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  22. oh please. "To be honest, I was happy that they were taking notice that there is something else out there than long black The North Face down coats and mittens made in Nepal."
    That's not judgmental at all!
    You're right, the "moms with the hipster combat boots" might judge you at first... the same way you're judging them. I'm sure if you reached out and stopped being so pretentious/scared you'd see they just don't care about what you're wearing..just a guess.
    And also- I find it insulting that you're using your social work as an excuse to be an asshole. Please stop making us So Cal natives look bad!